Happy New Years

A new year is approaching and I can't wait until a few months from now when I finally get my husband back. There are rumors that they will be coming home early. That would be grand, and I'm praying they are true. It would be amazing if my husband could be home before our daughter's first birthday in April. No guarantees yet but I can't help but be a little excited. I've been finding lots of things to keep myself busy. I'm going to enroll my son in soccer and a preschool program at the YMCA, which thanks to my husband being deployed are going to be "free". :) I'm also buying a weight bench system thing from a lady for $50 that I got for Christmas. I'm hoping I actually use it. And I want to run a marathon so I'm going to start training for one (providing I can get off my tush and hand my children to someone else for an hour or so). My house is still a giant mess so thats another thing to keep me busy. I should be sleeping now... but I started paying bills and checking on all our accounts and now I'm doing this... who needs sleep eh? Apparently not my daughter. She didn't have any interest in napping at all today. Very frustrating... but shes been asleep for a few hours now so I'm happy about that. Hopefully I'll get to go to sleep for a little while before she wakes up again. I keep procrastinating all these things I want to do, like eat right, work out, and get all sexy before my husband gets back. I have an easier time in life putting myself last, but it needs to stop if I want to be there for my kids in the future. My goal for 2011 is to loose 50lbs. Its hard to work out and breastfeed (some may disagree, but it is for me) but I'm going to make sure I give myself some time during the day. Even if its just 15 minutes of jogging in place. I deserve it right?
Wishing everyone a Happy New Year!

ugh. single parenting

One of the hardest things about having your spouse deployed is that you have to do the parenting job pretty much all by yourself. Most days I'm ok with that but days like today make me really wish my husband were at home. Our daughter will be 8 months old tomorrow and some days she is just really needy and its hard to get anything done. She pretty much didn't nap at all today (only in my arms and briefly at that). I'm not sure why shes been so difficult today but it can get pretty tiring. I don't know how single parents actually do this all the time. I feel bad because I feel like I should be giving my son more attention, and I do make sure he does get some attention, but its hard. When my daughter is actually being a good little baby and sleeping or playing I have things I need to do (like make dinner and take care of the bills). I look forward to the day when my hubby is back and we can parent together again.

missing him tonight

The other night I had a fairly bad dream. My husband was home, but he was still in uniform and carrying around his weapon. We were looking out our backyard talking with one of his fellow officers, when we see enemy troops attacking us. So my husband and the other soldier run towards the attackers shooting their weapons while I run into my neighbors house (not sure why) and  start looking for a gun (we have some in our house). Makes me appreciate that at least the war is not in my backyard. As a nation that barely seems to notice that we are at war (aside from all the spending on it) I think we should take a moment to be thankful that we don't have to worry about enemy troops attacking us in our homes. oh, and I really miss my husband right now.